I think that people think that if God is paving a way for you to do something and you are following His path that it makes the adventure easy. I wish that were the case. The choice to follow Jesus was the hardest yet most rewarding decision I have ever made.
I explain it as an out of body experience. I knew it was the right thing to do so my body kept moving. I kept waking up and going to my new job staying away from my old life and continuing to move forward even though my heart was still back in Shell Lake, WI. That is when I learned the true meaning of inner peace. Despite the tornado that I had created with my past God filled my life with the most amazing supporters.
I decided to stop focusing on all the negative parts of my life. I started to branch out as a person and saw my self doing things I never thought I could do. You see I started dating my ex boyfriend when I was 16. At that age you are by no means "developed" into who you will be as an adult. I found myself loosing myself. I had compromised everything that was in my heart to be "Danielle" and became HIS girlfriend. Don't get me wrong compromising is great and definitely part of a relationship but to a certain extent. I started to see the things that I wanted to be doing and did not see how they would fit in to the life I had created. Even though it was a beautiful life there were so many things in my heart that I knew I wasn't doing. I knew that I was compromising a lot and if I started to do the things I had wanted it would cause my ex boyfriend to compromise like I was and then either way one of us would be unhappy. Sometimes loving someone just isn't enough. You see my purpose isn't found in person. That was my struggling point. I was putting all of my faith and expectations on him.
What I started to realize?
That if you put the energy that you put in to your relationship with your boyfriend into a relationship with Christ...... you will see the craziest transformation in your life. Any of you reading this that knew me then knew someone so different. I was so lost and was putting my happiness in objects and people.
Now I am so proud of myself. I can proudly say that my happiness does not come from my belongings or the amount of friends I have. It comes from contentment in my relationship with God. I finally feel myself again.